4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
