Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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