I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
