You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
