and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
