Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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