I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
We got so high we made milksteak
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just want nice things and good sex
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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