You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Houston, we have a squirter
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
