They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Found your dick twin last night
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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