Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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