Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
