This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
