Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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