My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
