I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
