I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i came on her dog
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
