Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
