idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
