I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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