You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
