3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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