Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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