uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize