So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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