I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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