is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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