Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's blow job season.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
