i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
PANTIES FOUND
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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