well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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