I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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