he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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