just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
