okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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