Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
