I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
