Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
