I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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