We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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