Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
