Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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