He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
