I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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