You're so nebulous sometimes
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
