So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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