make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dick very happy bro
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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