Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I cut my penus on the lid.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
