Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
