pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I love having hate sex.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize