Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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