I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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