I am spending my child support on dildos
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
