My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
