glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
