are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
