i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
