Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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