i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
