Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
