i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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