I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
