Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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