I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
