It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
