I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
