the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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