it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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