worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize