Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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