and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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