just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
