I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
