how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
