we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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