According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
