just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
