Nicole vs. Life
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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