You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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