I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
