I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
