Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
handjob tips. give me some.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize